ADVICE FOR CUBS
You’ve probably noticed that most of book is dedicated to the needs of the cougars, rather than
yours. That’s because 90% of self-help relationships books are read by women. Guys generally
don’t read much other than the sports page. And that’s a shame. So let’s look at the whole
cougar phenomenon from the male perspective.
WHY CUBS CHOOSE COUGARS
Why would guys prefer older women to women their own age?
1. Cougars have a better attitude. Young women are often pursued by multiple guys. Often
they are accustomed to having men go through hoops for them. In other words, they are often
spoiled brats. Many are high maintenance, expecting you to spend ever precious dollar you have
on them. If you don’t “put out” financially, they move on to someone more generous. Most
cougars are much easier to work with. They usually don’t expect to be wined and dined on the
same level as their younger counterparts. Most cougars have enough money of their own that
they are not looking to you as a “success object.” They just want to have fun, which is right up
2. Cougars don’t play as many games. Every Cub I interviewed about why they like cougars
gave the same reason: They know what they want and they don’t play games. Young guys tire of
the emotional histrionics they have to endure from young women.
3. Cougars have more experience. Not just sexually, but also with life. And Cubs love to learn,
from the right woman! In France the whole cougar phenomenon is less-hyped, because it is
almost a rite-of-passage for a young man to be initiated into sex by an older, more experienced
4. Cougars are more available. Guys often have to stand in line to date young, nubile women.
They are competing against all the men their own age, plus many of the older men, many of
whom have success and money. It’s tough to compete. Whereas the competition for MidLife
women is nowhere near as intense!
HOW TO ATTRACT A COUGAR
Women will never admit it, but often they are just as superficial as you are! They are attracted to
good looking, well-groomed, in-shape, well-dressed guys. When a woman first sees you, will
judge you 100% on your appearance. So here are some suggestions:
1. Good hygiene. Dirt, grime, or bad odors are the kiss of death. You won’t get a cougar that
way. Showers, floss, toothpaste, deodorant are all essential.
2. Comb your hair.
3. Clean, pressed, well-fitting clothes. No woman wants a man with dirty, wrinkly, or ill-fitting
4. Fashion. Women are into clothes. And they will judge you on your wardrobe. If your clothes
are hopeless out-of-date, you’re in trouble.
5. Avoid polyester. Women are experts on fibers. They can tell whether your clothes are all
synthetic or whether they are natural cotton, silk, or wool. Polyester signifies poverty or stupidity,
neither of which turn women on.
6. Match your colors. A black belt goes with dark pants and dark socks and dark shoes. Don’t
wear a brown belt or brown socks or brown shows unless they all match. Don’t wear white socks
with dress shoes, only with sneakers.
7. Shine your shoes. You hear it all the time that women look at men’s shoes first. I find it hard
to believe, but I’ve heard it many times!
8. Dress Appropriately. It never fails to amaze me how some Cubs dress at my cougar parties.
Often we do these in fancy ballrooms in major hotels, and may guys come in jeans and tennis
shoes. Now I like to dress comfortably as much as the next fellow, but there is a time and a place
for casual, and one for dressier attire. If you don’t own at least one set of dress shirt, dress
slacks, sports jacket, and tie, buy one! If cost is a consideration, you can these for next to nothing
at a thrift store.
WHERE TO MEET COUGARS
You won’t meet many cougars in most of the hot nightclubs in town. They tend to cater to
women in their 20s and 30s. Most cougars won’t tolerate the ear-splitting music. Best to go to a
watering hole at a nice hotel or upscale nightclub that plays hits from the past, when cougars
went to high school and college.
Ask yourself what do most MidLife women like to do that most men don’t? That’s where the odds
will be best in your favor.
1. The Opera, Ballet, and Symphony. Most men hate these cultural activities, attending only
because their wives make them. You will have all the single cougars to yourself!
2. Bookstores. Most single women love to read. But you have to pick the right section, for
example Relationship books.
3. Classes. If you take a class on astrology, tarot, ceramics, etc. the competition will be very
sporadic. One guy who took my dating seminar was inspired to sign up for a class with 50 women.
He was the only man and was scared out of his wits. It was a class on PMS. It turned out to be a
delightful experience, as many of the women wanted to meet the man “who was sensitive to
women’s problems.” Seek out your local community college or recreation center and sign up for
classes that are likely to appeal to MidLife single women.
4. Aerobics, Yoga, Pilates. Decades ago experts predicted the demise of singles bars,
suggesting that everyone would go to the gym instead to meet a romantic partner. It never
happened! The guys were all pumping iron, mainly a male activity, missing out on all the lovely
ladies doing aerobics, yoga, pilates, zumba, etc. Back when I was a Cub I once took an aerobics
class to meet women, not to get healthy. There were 20 women in the class, only two guys!
5. Dance Lessons. Women love to dance and often wind up dancing with each other because of
the shortage of male partners! Take a class that caters specifically to singles or that advertises
“no partner needed.” Even if you are the shyest guy on the planet, you will meet and dance with
every woman in the class, guaranteed, as rotating partners is the norm. Best of all, even if you
don’t meet the love of your life, at least you have learned a valuable skill. You will always be
attractive to women if you know how to dance. Most married women bitterly complain that the last
time they danced was at their weddings! Don’t make that mistake. Learn how to ENJOY dancing
(which mainly involves learning HOW to dance, since you can’t enjoy something if you feel
awkward) and you will never lack for a date!
6. Art Galleries.
7. Arts & Crafts Fairs, Farmers Markets, Wine Tastings, Festivals. These are going on ALL the
time. You could spend 40 hours a week meeting women at these and never run out of
opportunities. Very few guys at these events, unless they are dragged by their wives. So the
single ladies can choose to flirt with you or NOBODY.
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The Society of Single Professionals